I had a fling with a neighbor. It was awkward when it ended, so I decided to move.

4 days ago 27

A woman's feet successful  a moving van.

The writer had a fling with her neighbor. Charles Gullung/Getty Images
  • I was young, impulsive, and lonely, and a fling with my next-door neighbour seemed similar a bully idea.
  • It was fun, and my neighbour was a bully guy, but we truly weren't each other's type.
  • It fizzled retired reasonably quickly, and surviving determination felt ace awkward, truthful I decided to move.

I was 900 miles from home, successful a caller state, astatine a caller school, and moving into a caller apartment erstwhile I ran into the feline who lived adjacent door. Consumed with grief implicit a caller break-up and engaged acclimating to each the caller and accelerated changes successful my life, I hardly noticed him, assuming that the quiet, average-looking ginger wasn't my type.

But aft a fewer months, we started to get to cognize each different and go friends, watching movies, studying astatine the java store together, sharing pizzas, and sometimes, a fewer beers.

We started casually seeing each other

Turns out, we had a batch successful communal too the shared walls of our small duplex. We had some moved from different states to be the aforesaid university, were funny successful politics, shared a landlord we could gripe about, and arsenic caller godforsaken transplants, neither of america was utilized to Arizona's sweltering summertime heat.

So it wasn't agelong earlier the narration morphed into a friends-with-benefits fling. Fresh retired of a semipermanent narration that near maine lonely and brokenhearted, and engaged with a part-time occupation and afloat people load, it seemed similar the cleanable solution — a casual relationship with nary strings attached and the convenience of being close adjacent door.

It felt precise adult, making what seemed similar a applicable arrangement, avoiding immoderate commitments oregon expectations that would distract maine from enactment and school. I liked feeling independent, and aft each the strength of my erstwhile relationship, thing much casual felt similar a invited relief.

I hadn't thought astir what it would beryllium similar if it didn't enactment out

Since it was my archetypal existent friends-with-benefits situation, it didn't hap to maine to deliberation it done and see what it would beryllium similar erstwhile we stopped hanging retired unneurotic oregon 1 of america brought idiosyncratic other home. Being friends with benefits is, by definition, a non-committal and non-monogamous arrangement.

For a while, it was fun. My neighbour was a bully guy, and I had nary complaints, but determination besides wasn't immoderate existent chemistry, and there's lone truthful agelong convenience tin transportation a relationship.

My archetypal instinct had been right. We conscionable weren't each other's type, and were astir apt amended disconnected arsenic friends without the benefits. There was nary drama, but conscionable arsenic easy arsenic the narration started, it fizzled out. We stopped hanging retired and soon started mutually ghosting 1 another, which created a batch of unnecessary awkwardness erstwhile we ran into each different successful the laundry room, getting mail, oregon paying the rent.

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It was awkward, and I decided to move

As a result, I decided to determination a fewer months aboriginal erstwhile my lease was up for renewal. After all, our apartments shared thin, cheap, definitely-not-soundproof walls, and it was lone a substance of clip earlier 1 oregon some of america started seeing idiosyncratic else. So I decided to spare america some the imminent discomfort and moved retired without ever talking to him again.

In retrospect, the knee-jerk determination to determination a fewer blocks away, portion not uncommon successful a assemblage town, particularly aft a summertime spent elsewhere, was astir apt unnecessary, but I didn't privation to hazard it. I besides recovered a bigger, better, and much backstage flat a fewer blocks away, truthful it was an casual decision.

Looking back, I person to laughter astatine my affectional immaturity and the mode I unwittingly created an awkward concern that could've been avoided with a simple, honorable speech astir it being clip to determination on.

If I had to bash it each implicit again. I astir apt wouldn't get progressive with my neighbor successful the archetypal place. As I've gotten older, I've learned from acquisition that it's not a bully thought to unnecessarily complicate a bully situation, particularly erstwhile determination are plentifulness of different options that don't unrecorded close adjacent door.

But I besides don't regret it. We had amusive portion it lasted, and I learned a invaluable beingness acquisition without immoderate antagonistic consequences. Plus, I spot that younger maine did the champion she could astatine the time, adjacent if she whitethorn person acted impulsively and prioritized instant gratification.

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