After leaving the Navy, I was doing cocaine, popping pills, and drinking over a fifth of vodka a day. Then, I had a 'death experience' that changed everything.

4 days ago 27

side by broadside  images of shawn ryan successful  subject   attire (left) and his navy seal azygous   (right)

Two photos of Shawn Ryan during his clip arsenic a Navy SEAL. Courtesy of Shawn Ryan
  • Shawn Ryan was a Navy SEAL for astir six years, past joined the CIA.
  • During these high-stress jobs, helium was successful a astir changeless fight-or-flight mode.
  • After helium left, helium struggled to accommodate to a mean life. He says a psychedelic acquisition helped.

This as-told-to effort is based connected a speech with Shawn Ryan, a erstwhile Navy SEAL and CIA contractor, and big of the "Shawn Ryan Show." It's been edited for magnitude and clarity. Ryan is not a aesculapian professional. Psilocybin is amerciable successful the US federally and successful astir states. There is nary aesculapian statement astir whether it has benefits, including those described below, and the cause comes with risks.

When I left the Navy, I wasn't acceptable for what came next.

I had been a SEAL for 5 and a fractional years. After that, I worked arsenic a contractor with the CIA. The tempo stayed high. I did 60 days on, 60 days off, sometimes 45 and 45. I was inactive moving hard, surviving successful fight-or-flight mode. When that ended, I crashed—hard​.

I didn't cognize however to dilatory down. I wasn't utilized to dealing with mean life. All I knew was intensity. I needed that adrenaline hit each time — and erstwhile I couldn't get it from missions anymore, I recovered different ways.

I got into sleeping pills. Ambien, Valium, Xanax, Lorazepam — you sanction it, I was taking it. On apical of that, I was utilizing opiates similar hydrocodone and tramadol. Eventually, I moved retired of the state and started surviving successful Medellín, Colombia. That's wherever I got truly into cocaine​.

I would spell into the worst neighborhoods I could find to score. I didn't privation it easy, I wanted the risk, to consciousness something. When that got boring, I'd spell to different state and bash it again.

At my lowest point, I was drinking two fifths of vodka a day. I'd aftermath up with mini bottles stashed each astir the location — nether pillows, successful drawers, successful the car, successful my overgarment pockets. After dinner, I'd spell to the freezer, propulsion retired a bottle, and that's however I'd lavation down my slumber meds. Except by the end, they didn't adjacent enactment maine to slumber anymore​.

In the morning, I'd instrumentality a stimulant — Adderall oregon thing other — to commencement the rhythm again. That was my life. It went connected for years​.

The 'death experience' that changed my life

Eventually, I deed a constituent wherever I knew I couldn't support going. A person told maine astir psychedelic therapy, and I decided to effort it.

The archetypal was Ibogaine. It's a 12-hour experience. I fundamentally watched my full beingness play retired from a antithetic perspective. Every memory, each trauma — it's each there.

After the Ibogaine effects wore off, I did different psychedelic called 5-MeO-DMT, sometimes called the "God molecule." The travel is described arsenic an ego death, oregon death experience.

It was the astir intense, intuitive happening I've ever felt. I came retired of it seeing the satellite differently.

I could consciousness vigor flowing from the ocean, onto the shore, done the trees. For the archetypal clip successful my life, I realized everything is connected. Everything is one. That deed maine successful a mode thing other ever had​.

When I came backmost from that psychedelic experience, I didn't request the pills anymore. I didn't request the vodka. I quit everything.

I've been sober for 2 and a fractional years. I discontinue smoking cannabis. I stopped utilizing stimulants. And for the archetypal clip successful a agelong time, I was afloat contiguous with my family​.

That acquisition changed everything. It gave maine a 2nd chance.

That's wherefore I started talking astir this publically connected my podcast, the "Shawn Ryan Show." I wanted different veterans — different guys similar maine — to cognize there's a mode out.

A batch of them person been done the aforesaid happening — addiction, trauma, breached families, suicidal thoughts. When they perceive that idiosyncratic other made it through, they commencement to judge that possibly they tin too.

So galore of america travel backmost broken. We suffer ourselves. We spiral. But healing is possible. Recovery is possible.

If you person a unsocial subject communicative that you would similar to share, delight email the editor, Jessica Orwig, astatine jorwig@businessinsider.com.

This communicative was adapted from Ryan's interview for Business Insider's series, "Authorized Account." Learn much astir his beingness earlier and aft the Navy SEALs successful the video below:

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