My wife has decided she’s done with sex – could it be the menopause?

My woman has decided she is done with sex. She hasn’t fixed a peculiar reason. I asked if determination whitethorn beryllium a deeper resentment astir me – but she said not. I asked if she possibly had feelings for different men – but she said not. She is successful the aboriginal stages of menopause – 8 years ago, erstwhile we archetypal met, it was a bigger portion of her life. But past week she conscionable said that though she loves maine precise much, and determination are nary issues, she doesn’t privation to person enactment oregon thing else. She wants me to beryllium determination for her arsenic a celibate partner, indefinitely, leaving me, faithfully, successful limbo. I emotion her, but I consciousness the deficiency of carnal intimacy could interruption america up.

No uncertainty your wife’s determination is devastating for you, and you whitethorn person to determine if this caller script is imaginable for you, but it would astir apt beryllium worthy trying to glean much accusation to assistance you to recognize “Why this? Why now?” Menopause tin person a devastating effect connected a woman’s libido, and determination tin beryllium each kinds of different issues specified arsenic genital dryness and pain. Learn much astir this, past show your knowing astir it to your wife, and inquire astir being adjuvant to her successful immoderate way, specified arsenic helping her get to doctors’ appointments and being disposable to perceive to her carnal and affectional concerns. A intersexual compromise mightiness yet beryllium imaginable done gentle negotiation, but I ideate it would person to beryllium precise overmuch connected her presumption astatine this point. Some women elite to boost their hormone levels successful 1 mode oregon another, which tin assistance reconstruct libido, but that is an idiosyncratic choice. After 8 years unneurotic I bash not urge that you marque a hasty determination to locomotion away, arsenic determination are galore avenues to explore.

• Pamela Stephenson Connolly is simply a US-based psychotherapist who specialises successful treating intersexual disorders.

• If you would similar proposal from Pamela connected intersexual matters, nonstop america a little statement of your concerns to private.lives@theguardian.com (please don’t nonstop attachments). Each week, Pamela chooses 1 occupation to answer, which volition beryllium published online. She regrets that she cannot participate into idiosyncratic correspondence. Submissions are taxable to our terms and conditions.

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