I'm a mentor for affluent teens and young adults. Here are 5 lessons every parent should teach their children before college.

This as-told-to effort is based connected a speech with Barry Garapedian, writer of "Winning the Game of Life: The Seven Lessons You Never Learn successful School." It has been edited for magnitude and clarity.

I utilized to work connected Wall Street arsenic a wealthiness manager, but my existent passionateness was household governance — helping affluent families outline their values and household beliefs. For 40 years, I helped families draught constitutions that would govern them. The constitutions are based connected 7 pillars: family, faith, friends, fitness, financial, fun, and philanthropy.

It sounds grand, but a constitution tin incorporate tiny things that show your household values. Mine, for example, dictates that we ever drop disconnected and prime up a household subordinate traveling done to the airport. It's a mode to amusement we attraction and beryllium of work to our family.

Today, I'm 67 (or, arsenic I similar to say, Barry mentation 6.7), and I enactment with affluent young radical (ages 14 to 30) connected their personal and nonrecreational development. I operation my attack astir the 7 pillars, but besides judge determination are circumstantial lessons young radical request to succeed.

Here are 5 lessons each genitor should thatch their teens earlier college.

Get extracurricular your comfortableness zone

Getting extracurricular your comfortableness portion takes courage, and courageousness builds confidence. It's indispensable that young radical person assurance successful themselves personally and professionally.

I person each young idiosyncratic I enactment with build a imaginativeness board, collecting 20 images of things that volition empower them. One of those things indispensable beryllium an intolerable extremity — thing that seems truthful large it's hard to imagine. Just naming that extremity is stepping retired of the comfortableness zone, and it encourages big-picture thinking.

The younker I enactment with support their imaginativeness boards arsenic the lockscreen connected their phones. I bash the aforesaid happening — my imaginativeness committee has pictures related to books, fitness, unprocessed foods, and discipline. I'm reminded of my goals each clip I look astatine my phone.

Practice going first

Future leaders request to beryllium comfortable, well, leading. So, I promote radical to signifier that connected the micro level by going archetypal whenever they can. Teach your teens to initiate things — whether it's a handshake during an internship meeting, saying bully greeting to a teacher, oregon offering to property the buttons for the different radical successful an elevator. Over time, these tiny tasks physique assurance and make a enactment mindset.

Be of worth to others

Creating worth for others is the champion mode to marque yourself successful. There are 3 types of value: material/financial, emotional, and spiritual. Even affluent young radical don't person overmuch wealth but should larn to supply affectional oregon spiritual worth to radical astir them.

Another mode to enactment this: thatch your teens to beryllium much funny than interesting. Ask radical astir themselves. Recommend them a book. Make yourself idiosyncratic others crook to.

Exceed expectations connected purpose

When you transcend expectations, radical are thrilled — and they worth you. It feels truly bully to marque idiosyncratic other consciousness good, which is wherefore young radical should larn to transcend expectations connected purpose. I telephone this intentionally creating lightning strikes.

My kids are present 28 and 30, but erstwhile they were younger, and idiosyncratic visited our home, they would inquire for the car keys and cleanable the visitor's car. It made the visitant blessed and helped my kids basal out. Lightning strikes don't person to beryllium this expansive — they tin beryllium arsenic elemental arsenic calling a grandparent to accidental hullo oregon sending a handwritten note.

Build bully habits measurement by step

I usually enactment with young radical for a twelvemonth astatine a time. It takes astir 60 to 90 days to signifier a caller habit, truthful implicit the people of the year, we absorption connected gathering 4 caller high-performance habits. Adding 1 astatine a clip doesn't consciousness overwhelming, but creating 4 caller habits a twelvemonth makes a quality successful their lives.

Start small: Have your teen marque their furniture each day. Or, marque it automatic that they wide the array aft dinner. Over time, these changes adhd up for them and you.

True occurrence is astir creating worth for others and lasting out. With these lessons, your teen tin beryllium good connected the way to a palmy aboriginal — immoderate that means to them.